It brings us many emotions, from anger to hope, and no matter what we think it affects us all. What is it? Cancer. It comes in many forms and will wreck and ravage your body, however there is hope. As long as you are alive there is hope. Many will see it as a hopeless, and give up without a fight, just as my father was going to do.
Prostate cancer came into our lives, and he quickly battled it, and walked away in remission. At this time I would like to say, even though you are in remission, it can return! It is necessary to continue seeing your doctor for check ups because, again I stress to you, it can return. In my fathers case, it did.
We found out when he was having difficulties passing stool, and he was becoming septic. My brother called and explained to me that I needed to come visit, as it seemed like the end. The end why? All because my father didn’t want to have a colostomy. He saw it as a weakness, and a shameful, disgusting option, even facing an extremely painful death, his pain was completely unnecessary. Die now, or deal with a difficult and humiliating choice, that gives you a little hope.
I had my own experience with a humbling life experience. I almost died while giving birth to my daughter and the repercussions from this were quite debilitating. The thing is I could have given up but I fought to regain who I am. You see this could have broken me, it could have taken my mind and my drive for life, but I didn’t allow it. My father was there for me, he was an important part of my recovery. I couldn’t allow him to die without trying to be there for him, as he was for me, right?
Well, what do you do when faced with the death of a parent? You quickly make arrangements for your child and pets, then you get your butt on a plane. I made it to my fathers side to see that he had given up. You never want to see a man that you looked up to your whole life giving up, it breaks you. I asked him to have the surgery, and that was all I needed to do. My father said no, to my brother, sister and my mother, but he couldn’t say no to me, he has never been able to say no to his baby.
By not giving up at this moment in life, me and my daughter were able to spend a entire week with him for the Christmas Holiday. A moment that will always remain in my memory, even if I have to stare at the pictures of it for hours on end to remember it. He was and always will be a part of my life even now that he is gone.
I want you to know even though my close encounter with this horrible blight ended badly, not all do. The point of this story is for you not to give up, don’t allow this disease to take what time you have left from you. By not giving up hope, you may get that one more experience that will mean the world for someone, who means the world to you. By not giving up hope, you may reach remission. By not giving up hope, you may see a cure.
I love you, Dad, and always will.
-Anita/Amarantheans
